How to Photograph Your Puppy
Remove film from box and load camera.
Remove box from puppy's mouth and throw in the garbage.
Remove puppy from the garbage bag and wipe coffee grounds off muzzle.
Choose suitable background for your picture.
Mount and focus camera.
Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on hands and knees.
Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with the other.
Get Kleenex and clean nose print off lens.
Take camera case from puppy's mouth, place out of reach.
Put the cat in another room and place peroxide on scratch on puppy's nose.
Put magazines back on the coffee table.
Get puppy's attention by holding a squeaky toy above your head.
Now replace glasses back on your face and fish camera out from under couch.
Stand up in time to tell the puppy "NO, OUTSIDE NOW!"
Fix yourself a drink, lean back, relax and resolve to call that photgrapher "first thing in the morning".... .....